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Well, my brother wasn't exaggerating about my mom. She's very frail and weak. Can hardly get around without help. And her memory is slipping very quickly. Too bad she didn't forget how to be cruel. I never say too much about my mom because she's an odd duck. She had six boys and two girls and only liked the boys. She's never been nice to me or my sister. But I hoped as she got older and more feeble minded she would change. Not so. It's the opposite. She seems even meaner now. She told me I was so lucky to have my husband stay with me because I'm so fat. And yes, she said it like that. I tried to not let anything she said bother me, but it does. My sister has stopped going over to her house and now I understand why. She told me if I would only dress nicer and wear decent shoes I could possibly look somewhat better. I told her that Rod and I don't love each other because of how we look. We love each other because we're best friends and more. She started to say more but I went into my room before I said something hateful to her. Which I don't want to do. With my luck it would be the one thing she remembered. My older brother Joe was in the room and just sat there not knowing what to say. And then there is the matter of Joe. He helps Dan take care of mom and everything and that's great, but she thinks he's a saint. Believe me, he's not. And it's St. Joe this and St. Joe that. Dan's been taking care of her for years, and does she mention him? I think not. He's so good to her. WAtches two hours of tv that she likes with her every evening and spends time with her, but there is only Joe right now. Okay, I'm done bitching. I just wanted to say that I'm back and she isn't doing really well. But at this point I don't see myself going again for a year. It's sad, but something that happens. Thanks for listening.

Hugs, Patt

Comments

( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
grey853
Mar. 4th, 2016 03:05 am (UTC)
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

It sounds like such a difficult situation for everyone. She sounds so much like my grandmother, picking one over the others, being cruel to those who do the most.

I'm so sorry things aren't going well for you and your family right now.
pattrose
Mar. 4th, 2016 05:38 am (UTC)
I just need a couple of days to get over it. Then I'll be fine. Thank you for the hugs.
grey853
Mar. 4th, 2016 02:13 pm (UTC)
You're welcome. You know my email, so any time you just want to vent, I'm there.
pattrose
Mar. 4th, 2016 02:27 pm (UTC)
I'm doing pretty good, Grey. I believe that you just have to bury that inside yourself and move on. I'm trying to do that. It's easier said than done.
grey853
Mar. 4th, 2016 02:51 pm (UTC)
I understand that completely. It's very hard though when someone you love says something so hateful.
krisserci5
Mar. 4th, 2016 04:40 am (UTC)
Some females don't deal well with other females, even if they are their own children or not. I am sorry that you had to deal with that all your life.
pattrose
Mar. 4th, 2016 05:39 am (UTC)
Yes, it was difficult but I'll get over it and be fine as always.
bluewolf458
Mar. 4th, 2016 07:28 am (UTC)
OH, dear. (((hugs)))
pattrose
Mar. 4th, 2016 02:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the hugs. I'm getting better now, so not to worry.
(Anonymous)
Mar. 4th, 2016 07:43 am (UTC)
You look GREAT
Just for the record, every time you have posted a pic of you and your family I have noticed that you are very handsome lady.Just saying.
pattrose
Mar. 4th, 2016 02:25 pm (UTC)
Re: You look GREAT
Thank you so much. I don't know what I would do without my fandom friends.
unbelievable2
Mar. 4th, 2016 09:45 am (UTC)
Patt, I'm sorry I have been reading posts in reverse, so I've only just seen what a rotten time you've had. That's the thing about some elderly people. They can be plain nasty. There's no point wasting your time and energy on making excuses to yourself for them. It's how they've chosen to act. You are a wonderful, wonderful person, a firm friend, generous to a fault,and you and Rod have such a great relationship. That's the truth of it all. Some people just want to be cruel. Just because she's your Mom you don't have to like her or forgive her. You're the one who's important here.
pattrose
Mar. 4th, 2016 02:23 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Ann. I'm doing better today. The shock is wearing off and that's good. I'll get better every day and it will be like it never happened.
tinnean
Mar. 4th, 2016 12:26 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry your mother is like this. You're a very good, caring person. Just look what you've done for Samantha. You went when your brother called. You've done your part, please remember that. Don't subject yourself to this abuse again. It's hard on Dan that even among the boys she doesn't seem to favor him, but that's how she is.

You and your family will be in my thoughts, but most especially you. {{{Patt}}}
pattrose
Mar. 4th, 2016 02:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Tinnean. I feel that I've done my time for the next year. Now all I have to do is bury all the things she said and not dwell on them.
snailbones
Mar. 4th, 2016 03:48 pm (UTC)


I'm so endlessly sorry sweetheart. You don't deserve to be treated that way, no matter how old and frail she is. My grandmother did something similar with me and nobody ever knew why - she just took against me and for the sake of family unity I sucked it up and put up with it - but it hurt like crazy, and did for years after she passed away. Your mum is lucky to have family who still love and care for her, and if she doesn't see what an amazing person you are, it's her loss; but it still hurts you, and all you can do is regret, and carry on. Big hugs, babe. You are wonderful. ♥

pattrose
Mar. 4th, 2016 04:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Snail. I don't know what I would do with all of you. You've all made me feel 100% better. :)
dimity_blue
Mar. 4th, 2016 08:46 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry, Patt. Dealing with difficult parents isn't easy, and your mom sounds extremely hurtful.

*hugs tightly* Anyone who cares about you is going to care because of your personality not because of what size jeans you wear.
pattrose
Mar. 5th, 2016 05:45 am (UTC)
That's what my husband said too, DB. He was very hurt for me over her comments. But I'm trying to move past them now. I'm glad to be home. Thank you for those hugs. :)
stargatesg1971
Mar. 6th, 2016 08:34 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear your trip was upsetting and difficult.

(((HUGS)))
pattrose
Mar. 6th, 2016 08:55 am (UTC)
I had to make a doctors appointment because I have an ulcer in my esophagus and it's acting up big time. When I get stressed or upset, it acts up. I can't seem to get it under control. I'll be fine. I'm just lucky that I don't have that relationship with my second daughter. We get along beautifully. Our oldest daughter, who is Sam's mom acts a lot like her Grandmother. Thank God I don't have to put up with either of them very often. Thank you for the hugs. :)
stargatesg1971
Mar. 6th, 2016 09:51 am (UTC)
Hope your ulcer settles down soon for you. Family can be trying on times. I'm glad you have a good relationship with your second daughter as she (and Rodney) can provide you with strength and support when the others are testing you.

(((HUGS)))
pattrose
Mar. 7th, 2016 05:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you. And our son is a darling. He loves us to death, so that makes it easier to handle also. Two out of three isn't bad. LOL I'm starting to feel better. That ulcer kicks up every now and then and I have to baby it. Boring. LOL
t_verano
Mar. 6th, 2016 04:09 pm (UTC)
[coming in the door a bit late here]

What a difficult situation; it sounds nearly impossible. (And why am I surprised, still -- I've seen before that the nicest and most wonderful people -- like you -- can come out of environments that have tried to flatten them, which it surely sounds like your mom is way too good at.)

I will never understand why people do this kind of undermining and belittling, and I'm so sorry that your mom seems to be able to offer only that to you and your sister (and to not even be able to be somewhat fair to your brother who's taking care of her).

all the hugs in the world -- and hopes that you can hold on to the truth that you are an amazing and dear and much loved person -- THAT is reality, not your mom's twisted take on things.
pattrose
Mar. 7th, 2016 05:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for your kind words. They help, believe me. I don't know what I would do without all of you. :)
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )

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