Summary: Jim and Blair go to a mattress store to purchase a new bed and Blair goes out of his way to embarrass Jim at every turn.
Word Count: 1025
Warnings: My weird sense of humor.
Challenge: # 488: Dial
“Hey Chief, I’m going to go and pick out a new mattress and box springs, did you want to go with?” Jim asked.
Blair gave him a look, like he was the dumbest man on earth. “Duh! I have to sleep there. I should help pick it out.”
“Well, get the lead out then. I want to get this done so they can deliver and pickup tomorrow on our day off,” Jim commanded in his high and mighty tone.
“I just know you’re not talking to me like that. Because a man that would be talking to me like that would be getting a twin bed, no need for a king sized bed.”
Jim laughed and said, “I’m sorry. I’m just in a hurry. And I’m not that wild about lying on mattresses on a showroom floor.”
“Apology accepted, man. Now, did you want to take your pillow and blanket and rest on it for a while?” Blair teased.
“See, this is why I don’t want to take you along. You’re going to tease me the entire time. I can already tell you’re in that kind of mood,” Jim stated.
“Oh hush, I’ll be good. Let’s get this show on the road,” Blair said, wearing a huge smile on his sweet angelic face and Jim knew his lover was up to something.
When they got to the stores showroom floor, Jim looked around to see what looked good and comfortable. Blair on the other hand, started lying on the beds, one at a time, yelling, “Jim, come over here and try this one.”
Everyone in the show room looked and Jim was embarrassed by what they were saying. He walked over to Blair and whispered, “Blair, they are all talking about us. Cut it out.”
“Turn down your hearing dial, Jim. There is no reason to listen to what they have to say. Now, lie down next to me and tell me this isn’t the most comfy bed you’re ever laid on.”
Jim lay on the opposite side of the bed, as far away from Blair as he could because everyone was still watching them.
“Jim, I’m going to give you two seconds to get over here and lay by me, or I’m leaving and walking home and you can look at twin beds.”
Jim sighed and moved closer to Blair even though he could still hear snickering from the peanut gallery in the store. Jim closed his eyes and tried to relax as he turned down the dial. He hated to admit it, but Blair was right. The mattress was super comfy. “Chief, you’re right. I love this bed.”
And before Jim had a chance to get ready for Blair next onslaught, Blair moved on top of Jim and whispered, “Is it still comfy?”
Blair was tickled pink when he saw his lover turn beet red. “Chief, come on, everyone is laughing.”
“Tough, this is a big decision. Don’t you want it to be comfy for things we do in the bed? Now relax and tell me how it feels,” Blair ordered.
Jim sighed again and said, “You know what, I think this might be the perfect bed.”
Blair moved off of him and jumped up next to the bed. “Liar! You just don’t want anyone seeing me with you. I’ll wait out in the truck. You shop alone and get whatever you want. Who really gives a rat’s ass?”
Jim was off the bed in lightening speed and caught Blair’s arm as he was heading out the door. “I’m sorry. Come on, we’ll try some more beds. I’ll try and loosen up.”
“That’s more like it, Jim.” Blair was so happy and he glared at the people staring at them and hoped they would all leave the store. “I hope they all think they might get gay cooties and leave,” Blair whispered.
Jim snickered and said, “This one looks super comfy. Let’s try it.”
They lay next to each other for the next five mattresses and on the fifth, Blair said, “I think this might be the one.”
Jim was sick of the salesman on the showroom floor that was staring at them. Jim was sick of people who didn’t understand gay people in general. Jim moved over closer to Blair and kissed his ear. Then he turned Blair on his side and spooned up to him.
Blair started laughing and said, “Is it comfortable that way, Jim? Or are you just trying to piss people off?”
“Both, Chief. I love this bed. This is it. And I love the feel of you in this bed in my arms. We found our bed,” Jim announced.
“Yay, let’s go order it and pay for it and go home and finish this business you started,” Blair said, smiling evilly.
They wrote down the model number and went up to order it. The man that was staring at them walked up to take their order and Jim said, “No, I want that woman over there to take my order.” He pointed to a woman that seemed very pleased to have made a sale without even trying.
“Yes, my name is Mary Ann, can I help you?”
Jim told her the model number and she set up the delivery for the next day and then Jim paid for the bed and they walked out of the store, happy men.
Blair got into the truck and said, “I have to tell you that was a big turn on having you spoon up to me in the store. That took nerve; Jim and I know it was hard. But I loved it. Thank you.”
“I love you, Blair and never should have let people get to me like that. As soon as I turned down my dial on my hearing, I was fine. I don’t care what they said. All I know is how much you mean to me. They mean nothing to me.”
“I love you, Jim. And if you get us home quick like, I’ll show you how much.”
Blair laughed when Jim put the lights and siren on. They were both going to get lucky.