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I hate leaving mom and dad. They need some help and I'll talk about that with my family this weekend. My little brother and his wife have a housekeeping service and they clean mom and dads house every week for avery small amount. I'm glad of this, because neither of them are capable of doing the house themselves anymore. I'm hoping we can find someone to help with laundry once a week. They eat frozen meals when I'm not here and don't cook hardly at all anymore. Dad is 88 and mom is 85,they are lucky they are still home and able to care for themselves as much as they can.

I realized how much I take things for granted. My mother asks me almost every day if we ate anything for dinner,no matter what I made. She doesn't remember eating. She also asks me if I remember when she took a shower last. We keep it written on the calendar now. We have a talking clock that tells her when to take her meds. But my dad helps her remember this also. Mom also can't remember what we are doing on any given day. She's always lost and confused. It's so sad. Dad is getting more tired every day, so I just wish they could rest more. Dad worries about mom non-stop. That's why he isn't sleeping.

The doctor said that he thought she had a stroke when she had her heart attack in April and she just isn't bouncing back because of it. Her brain can't keep up. They started her on some pills to help her memory, but they told us not to get too excited about it. Chances are they won't help at all.

My dad asked me if I could come three times a year instead of two. I spend three weeks each time, but I really don't want to leave hubster all alone again. I'll have to think about it and go from there. Oh, and he thought I should make it four weeks each visit instead. *sigh*

I was driving mom to Sam's today and a car almost hit us. She got very frightened and I said, "Mom, did it remind you of years ago when that car ran a red light and hit you, totalling you're car?" She looked at me like I had grown a second head and answered, "Patt, I've never been in an accident." I reminded her of the event gently, and she looked lost again. She doesn't remember any of it. This is how every day is for her, poor dear.

Well, enough from me. I should be sleeping. I have a ton to do tomorrow. Talk to all of you soon. Be well.

Hugs, Patt

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
marizilda
Feb. 2nd, 2012 10:29 am (UTC)
Hi
My mother says that stay old is sad too.. : (
But the life is like this, we should accept... : (
It is difficult see dear people stay like this with slow movements, with pain, without remembrances...
That God give a lot health for we be able to take care of ours dear old.
That God blesses and protect your parents and its family.
An affectionate hugs.

Marizilda
pattrose
Feb. 3rd, 2012 03:56 am (UTC)
Thank you, Mari. WE're darn lucky to still have our parents, so I need to stop focusing on the negative.
bluewolf458
Feb. 2nd, 2012 12:35 pm (UTC)
I can only be grateful that neither of my parents had memory problems at the time they went. I had three years of caring for my mother, who was physically frail - I don't think I could have coped if she'd had memory problems too.

You look after yourself!
pattrose
Feb. 3rd, 2012 03:57 am (UTC)
It wears a person down. She's aware enough to know that she's having trouble, so this bothers her more than it should. WE keep telling her that's why she had eight kids. We're her memory.
scherwood
Feb. 2nd, 2012 03:27 pm (UTC)

*sending lots of love and good vibes*
*hugs*
pattrose
Feb. 3rd, 2012 03:58 am (UTC)
Thank you, Sara. I will give one to mom tomorrow. :)
grey853
Feb. 2nd, 2012 07:17 pm (UTC)
{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

It's so hard.

Bless.
pattrose
Feb. 3rd, 2012 03:59 am (UTC)
Yes, it is, but she could have something horriblly wrong with her and dying. Insstead she has a memory problem. Life will go on. Thanks for the hugs.
caarianna
Feb. 2nd, 2012 11:42 pm (UTC)
Sounds like my Mom and her husband, except they both have serious memory issues: Mom because of the seizures she was having and the dilantin, and him because of dementia, probably altzheimers. She's 83 and he's 87, and she doesn't even want to go out anymore, just sit happily in her chair, looking out the window, watching tv or doing her mental puzzles, him playing music (badly) on his keyboard. I really worry about their health and nutrition, too. But they will not even discuss going into an assisted living centre. Ah, well, they're happy enough and healthy enough to manage so long as they keep things simple, and I guess that's the main thing.

pattrose
Feb. 3rd, 2012 04:01 am (UTC)
It's terrible that they all have to go through it, but at least they are still will us. I am very thankful of that.
dimity_blue
Feb. 3rd, 2012 10:27 pm (UTC)
::hugs and sends good vibes:: I hope the pills do some good for your Mom and that her memory improves somehow. It must be incredibly stressful for all of you. ::hugs again::
pattrose
Feb. 4th, 2012 03:51 am (UTC)
I have to keep remembering that at least I still have my mom. Thank you for the hugs.
stargatesg1971
Feb. 5th, 2012 11:58 am (UTC)
I've lost both my parents, my dad only last year. It's so hard watching them as they get older, especially in circumstances like yours with your mom, on times you feel helpless and like you can't seem to do enough, but all you can really do is your best. Enjoy whatever time you can with them and make sure you look after yourself in the process. Take care.
pattrose
Feb. 8th, 2012 05:25 am (UTC)
Thank you for these words, knowing how close this is to your own heart. I'm sorry for your loss. It never gets any easier, either, I'm sure. We'll both have to take care of ourselves.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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