Walking home after a late Halloween party one dark night, Jim and Blair decided to
take a shortcut through the cemetery. Drawing close to the middle of the
cemetery, they were startled by a sharp tapping noise coming from the
shadows. As they approached, nervously, they found an old man with a
hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Geez! You
scared us half to death, mister!" Blair said. "What are you doing
working here so late at night?"
"Oh, it's those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
Dan Wolfe and Jim Ellison were working late one night. After all it was Dan's job to examine the
dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated.
As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated,
he discovered the longest private part he had ever seen!
"I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," said Dan, "But I can't send you off
to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has
to be saved for posterity."
And with that Dan used his tools to remove the dead man's
He gave the prize to Jim to take home and show his stud muffin.
When Jim arrived home he said, "Babe, wait till you see what I have to show you."
"It's good to see you too." Blair said pulling his husband into a kiss.
"I have something to show you that you won't believe," Jim said, and
opened his briefcase.
"Oh, my God!" Blair screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"
TOP 9 SIGNS WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
IS ON THE ROCKS:
9. His term of affection for you is, "You Bastard."
8. He shaves your eyebrows off while you are asleep.
7. He rushes to answer the phone each time it rings, and puts
it down saying, "I can't talk now... I'll call you later."
6. Your picture on the wall has darts in it.
5. He reads books like, "Men are from Mars, Sentinels Are Complete Assholes."
4. When you call him, he answers your voice with, "Oh. It's only you."
3. He cancels your date because he has to clean out the toilet tank.
2. He talks to Simon about going into the Witness Protection Program.
1. He asks your spirit animal to pee on you and receives a reward.
Jim noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
The thief was spending less then Blair.
Jim, Blair, Rafe and Brown rented a movie from Blockbuster. Before the movie begins a
message comes on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered to fit your
"How do they know what size television you have?"