Blair: Hey Jim, you wanna leave someone totally speechless in the bullpen today?
Jim: Why not? I'm up for it.
Blair: Well, that would leave them speechless all right.
Jim: Are you aware of the fact that you were singing Stand By Your Man, in the bullpen today?
Blair: And the point is?
Blair: When you turn your back on me, I actually consider it an opportunity.
Blair: If Jim says something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes me sad or angry, he'll say he meant it the other way.
Hey Jim, wanna hear a cute song?
"He is the man with the biggest plonker in the world
(Dingle-dangle strap it to your ankle)
He keeps it in his trousers tightly curled
(Dingle-dangle strap it to your ankle)"
Simon: Is everyone packing heat?
Jim: Blair isn't, you know that. Well not that kind of heat.
Simon: Will he be all right then, and don't even start with the gay jokes.
Jim: Oh yeah, he always packages his meat,
when he enters my heat.
Simon: That's way more than I wanted to hear, Ellison. Now shut up.
Ain't it cool?
Blair: Sentinel of the great city, my ass.
Jim: Blair, how many times have I told you, you're important too.
Blair: Where would you be without me, Mr. Zone?
Jim: Well I don't do that much anymore.
Blair: And your point would be?
Jim: Fine. You're Guide of the Great City.
Blair: Now say that three times and then you have to call Simon and tell him too.
Blair: What do you say we go out for a pizza and then a quick fuck??
Blair: You don't like pizza??
Jim: No, I don't like quick.
Blair: Let's go to our place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
Jim: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
Blair: Both of them.
Jim: I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Jim: I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
Jim: I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
Blair: I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.