Summary: Jim wakes up and he’s not in his bed at home. He doesn’t remember where he is or how he got there, but it looks like a hotel room and he knows that he had sex, or rather someone had sex with him. Is it time for a nervous breakdown?
Warnings: Slash, first time story.
Where Am I? - Patt
Jim woke up to the sound of traffic going by a window at a good speed. He knew he wasn’t at home because he was next to a highway. He opened his eyes and looked around and could see he was in a decent sort of hotel room, but he didn’t remember how he got there. Then there was something else he had to worry about. His ass hurt and he didn’t remember having sex with anyone, or rather anyone having sex with him.
Oh god, what have I done? Where am I and who did this to me?
Jim was tensing up and beginning to panic. He started talking to himself to try and calm down his nerves.
You had a few drinks with the guys at Sullivan’s Pub and then what? You can’t remember anything? What sort of Sentinel are you? God, my ass hurts.
Jim stopped thinking and decided to take a shower and go home and try and figure out who he had been with. Surely the guys wouldn’t have let a stranger take a drunk Jim Ellison somewhere. Jim could only hope. But then why was his ass hurting? And where was Sandburg during all of this? His Guide should have been on top of things from the very beginning. Blair Sandburg never would have let Jim go with strangers. Then what happened? Who was he here with?
Jim got into the shower and found himself scrubbing himself almost raw. He wasn’t sure what to think of this situation, but surely he needed to cleanse himself big time. Who fucked me? And why in the hell did I let him?
Jim got done in the shower, got out and dried off and looked in the mirror. He didn’t look that much different that he could tell anyhow, but things would never be the same again. He went with someone from Major Crime last night and let him fuck him. The only one he would ever have allowed this to happen with would be Blair. But Blair said he had a date last night, so Jim knew that Blair wasn’t the person that did this. So that left, Simon, Joel, Brown or Rafe. Thinking about it was giving Jim a major headache. He sure as hell didn’t want it to be any of them, but chances are it was. Now how would he find out who it was? And why would whomever it was leave before Jim woke up? Talk about feeling like a cheap whore.
Jim started to get dressed in the clothing that was lying on the floor and couldn’t believe how bad everything smelled. Jim hated the smell of cigars and cigarettes, but when you hang out in a bar, that’s all you smell. Once he was dressed, he looked to see if there was anything else in the room that belonged to him. Searching frantically, he found nothing to remind him of what happened the night before and left the room.
Jim went to the lobby and asked if they would call him a cab. He didn’t seem to have his cell phone, either. Sighing, he walked out to the curb and waited for his ride home. When the cab arrived, Jim made sure he had money in his wallet, and he did, and got into the cab. The entire ride home, he was dreading seeing Sandburg, because he would have to explain things. That would be most difficult not knowing anything about what happened.
He was thrilled when he didn’t see Blair’s car outside the loft. At least he wouldn’t have to answer any questions right then. Jim paid the cab driver and slowly walked up the stairs to his loft.
Jim knew one thing for sure and that was he sure didn’t like waking up in a strange place not knowing where he was or who he had been with.
He walked into the loft and sat down on the sofa. He groaned when he was once again reminded of what he had done to him the night before. He was very sore. Jim laid his head back and began to think about what happened. He needed to remember who he had been with and quick.
Blair got back to the hotel room and found it empty of any trace of Jim. Where in the hell did he go? Blair knew that when he left to go get breakfast, he should have left a note, but he forgot. Now he had breakfast and no Jim.
Blair pulled his cell out and called the loft. He had Jim’s cell phone in his back pack so knew that would do Jim no good. The phone started ringing and Blair finally heard the machine pick up, “You have reached the Sandburg and Ellison household, please leave a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Leave a message after the beep…”
After the beep, Blair said, “Jim, you better pick up if you’re there. I got back to the hotel and you were gone. What’s going on?”
Jim picked the phone up quickly and said, “You were at the hotel with me?”
“Of course I was at the hotel with you, who did you think it was?” Blair asked, surprised that Jim didn’t seem to know. “Why are you asking me like you don’t remember?”
“I don’t remember a damn thing from last night. I just know that someone fucked me, but I don’t remember who and where,” Jim ranted.
“I’ll be home in a few minutes. I picked up breakfast, so don’t eat anything,” Blair ordered.
“Like I even have any appetite,” Jim answered.
“Hang on, I’m coming and I’ll explain everything to you,” Blair said quickly before he closed his cell phone.
So I was with Blair last night? Does this mean that Blair fucked me? And why don’t I remember anything?
Jim started pacing and kept it up until he saw Blair’s car drive up about fifteen minutes later. He saw Blair look up to the balcony and almost run for the door. Jim concentrated and could hear that Blair’s heartbeat was a lot faster than it should be. Something was up, and Jim couldn’t wait to talk to his Guide and find out what it was.
Blair came walking into the loft looking wild-eyed and said, “Jim, sit down. We need to talk.”
Jim listened right away and sat down on the sofa. Blair sat next to him and said, “Jim, don’t you remember anything from last night?”
“No… Well, I remember that we went for a couple of drinks at Sullivan’s Pub. I know you were supposed to be the designated driver, but other than that, no,” Jim believed.
“Jim, you had way too much to drink and you came on to me big time. Well, I wasn’t going to turn you down, so that’s what happened. But why don’t you remember it?” Blair asked worriedly.
“I have no idea. How long have you had a thing for me?” Jim wondered aloud.
“For about two years, but I was really surprised to hear you talk about wanting me,” Blair explained.
“I can’t believe you fucked me when I was in that condition,” Jim accused.
“I couldn’t believe you were begging me to. What was I supposed to do, just ignore you? Don’t you even think about blaming this all onto me,” Blair barked. Now Blair got up and started to pace.
“Blair, I’ve never been a bottom, so this surprised me,” Jim divulged.
“Well if you must know, you were a wonderful bottom and then you were a wonderful top,” Blair said smiling.
“Well fuck… I finally got to fuck you and I missed it all,” Jim whined.
“We could try it again if you like,” Blair offered.
“I really begged you to fuck me?” Jim asked.
“Oh yeah. You begged really fine,” Blair said smiling again.
“That’s so out of character for me. I wonder why I did that,” Jim inquired.
“You told me that you felt good about giving you ass up to me. You said that you would rather have me have it than anyone,” Blair stated.
“I’m so fucking embarrassed… I can’t believe I missed all of this,” Jim whined again.
“Jim, as I said before, we can start all over again,” Blair remarked.
“It wouldn’t be the same. I missed my first time,” Jim said sadly.
“Jim, I want you to lean back on the sofa and close your eyes. We’re going to do some hypnotizing and see if you can’t remember last night. I’d like you to remember last night too. You said a few things that I hoped you would remember today,” Blair stated.
“Like what?” Jim asked.
“Lean back and close your eyes,” Blair said as he pushed Jim into a somewhat comfortable position.
Jim did just what Blair told him to and before long Blair was working his magic and Jim was starting to relax and remember some things from the night before.
Jim opened his eyes and said, “Jesus Christ, I’m a fucking slut.”
Blair laughed and kissed Jim quickly and sat there and waited for whatever bomb was going to go off. Instead Jim kissed Blair back and they began to make-out on the sofa.
Jim finally pulled away from Blair and said, “I can’t believe how I begged you for it. I’ve never done that or thought of doing that. It must have been the booze talking.”
Blair laughed again and answered, “Nope, can’t blame the booze. Jim, you wanted me, it was as simple as that. You probably just got relaxed enough to ask me things and it all came out at once.”
“I do love you, if that’s what you were wondering about,” Jim confessed.
“Thank god, I was hoping you would remember that part. That’s the only reason I went along with this. You swore you loved me for years,” Blair assured.
“So are we exclusive, or is that asking too much, too soon?” Jim asked.
“Jim, I would kick your ass if you started dating someone else. You’re mine and I’m yours. And by the way, you are never to drink that much again,” Blair teased.
I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for an encore. I’ll meet you upstairs in a minute,” Jim suggested.
Blair got up and said, “I’ll be there waiting for you.”
“Thank you for being there for me,” Jim said seriously.
“I was happy to do it,” Blair laughed as he walked up the stairs to their bedroom. I love the sound of our bedroom. God, I hope he let's me fuck him again.
Jim stopped half-way to the bathroom and said, “Yes, you can fuck me again. Stop thinking so hard, it’s hurting my head.”
Jim walked into the bathroom and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He wondered if he looked any different to anyone else. He didn’t to himself. Jim realized that when he woke up that morning, he wondered where he was and who he was, but he no longer had to worry about that. Things were going to be all right.
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