pattrose (pattrose) wrote,

Sentinel Jokes 4

Sentinel Jokes 4

Why Trick-Or-Treating is Better Than Sex

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, you can wait ten minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

6. It's okay when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.

5. Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. Less guilt the morning after.

1.You can DO the whole neighborhood.


Blair: How do you plant dope?
Conner: Bury a blonde.

Blair: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Conner: Wave to her.

Blair: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
Conner: Shine a torch in her ears.

Blair: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Conner: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Blair: How do you kill a blonde?
Conner: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Blair: Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool?
Conner: No smoking.

Blair: What does a blond do when someone says its chili outside?
Conner: She grabs a bowl.


Blair: How do blondes pierce their ears?
Conner: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Blair: How do you drown a blond?
Conner: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Blair: How do you drown a blond?
Conner: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Blair: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
Conner: Flattered.

Blair: How do you confuse a blonde?
Conner: You don't. They're born that way.

Blair: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
Conner: They're too hard to peel.

Blair: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Conner: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.


The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

Blair Sandburg raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"


Rafe a Detective with Major Crime, took his troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital. "Doctor, you must help me," he pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I meet one of the young cops at the station, I end up dating them. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"NO!!!" exclaimed Rafe. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"


Ponderings by Blair
The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Tags: jokes

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