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Part 19 My Choice

Title: My Choice
Author: Patt
Email: PattRose1@aol.com
Summary: Simon is thinking about the boys.
Prompt Word: acceptance
Pairing: Jim/Blair
Rating: FRAO
Warning: slash
Part 19 of the prompt series.
Word Count: 390

My Choice
By Patt

I decided to stay home from poker night because I’m not sure how I feel about Jim and Blair. I didn’t feel like I should go to the game because I might sway someone else my way and I don’t want to do that to them.

I could see the hurt in Jim’s eyes tonight when I told him I wouldn’t be coming. Surely he must understand that it’s just too much for me right now. How can I think about him being a tough cop when I have to remember that he sleeps with a man?

What do I really think about Ellison and Sandburg sleeping together? To tell the truth, I thought they were about a year ago, but they didn’t say anything, so I figured my imagination was getting away from me. Why didn’t it bother me that much then?

Do I dislike them now? Will I ever be close to them again? I don’t know. I really don’t. I only know I’m going to miss our damn camping trips that they always invited me on and also for Sunday night dinners. We always had a good time watching the game and eating all of the great food they made.

I think I noticed that they were warm for each other back then, but I refused to acknowledge it. They didn’t even let it come to the surface, why should I have?

Am I going to miss the poker games on Saturday nights? Yes… I miss them already, because they are good friends. This is my problem and I’m going to have to get over it.

I want to still be invited on camping trips. I want to be invited over for football games and I love the poker nights. I can’t give them up, so I can’t turn my back on my friends. I’m just going to have to get over it.

I wonder if it’s too late to show up at their loft for Poker. One way to find out.

I see the look of surprise on Jim’s face when he opens the door to the loft and I shake his hand and say, “I’m sorry.”

One look from him says all is forgiven. He knows I made my choice and it was acceptance. Things will be all right.

The End.

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