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The word F*ck.

Jim and Blair do Jokes 19

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

* It can be used as a verb, both transitive (Jim fucked Blair) and intransitive (Blair was fucked by Jim).

* It can be an action verb (Jim really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Blair really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Blair is fucking interested in Jim), or as a noun (Blair is a terrific fuck).

* It can also be used as an adjective (Blair is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Blair).

* It can even be used as a conjunction (Blair is easy, fuck he's also silly).
As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations...

Greetings "How the fuck are ya?" Brown says this all the time.

Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer." Blair whining

Resignation "Oh, fuck it!" Jim losing his temper.

Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now." Blair at the end of his rope.

Aggression "FUCK YOU!" Jim mad at Blair.

Disgust "Fuck me." Blair or Jim, begging.

Confusion "What the fuck.......?" Jim when he’s confused.

Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking business!" Jim again when he’s confused.

Despair "Fucked again..." Blair when he’s pissed off at someone.

Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier." A sarcastic Jim.

Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?" The boys both use this one.

Lost "Where the fuck are we." Blair asks this every time he’s in charge of the map.

Disbelief "UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE!" A very shocked Jim.

Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!" A pissed off Simon.

Denial "I didn't fucking do it." Blair says this to Simon at least once a day.

Perplexity "I know the fuck all about it." Jim and Blair both use this one.

Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?" Jim, showing how much he cares.

Greetings "How the fuck are ya?" Blair being happy and cheerful when he sees his friends.

Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?" Jim questions everyone and everything.

Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here." Blair trying to get away from Simon.

Directions "Fuck off." The entire bullpen gang says this.

Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?" Conner really wants to know.

It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole." This is Jim and Blair all the way.

It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty." Blair says this every day when he gets up.

It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?" Jim wondering why he’s a cop anyhow.

It can be maternal- "Mother fucker." Rafe and Brown say this to Jim and Blair every chance they get.

It can be political- "Fuck Dan Quayle!" Jim loves to use fuck and politics in the same sentence.

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history...

"What the fuck was that?"
- Mayor of Hiroshima
"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?"
- Captain of the Titanic
"That's not a real fucking gun."
- John Lennon
"Who's gonna fucking find out?"
- Richard Nixon
"Heads are going to fucking roll."
- Anne Boleyn
"Let the fucking woman drive."
- Commander of Space Shuttle
"What fucking map?"
- "Challenger," Mark Thatcher
"Any fucking idiot could understand that."
- Albert Einstein
"It does so fucking look like her!"
- Picasso
"How the fuck did you work that out?"
- Pythagoras
"You want what on the fucking ceiling?"
- Michaelangelo
"Fuck a duck."
- Walt Disney
"Why?- Because its fucking there!"
- Edmund Hilary
"I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?"
- Joan of Arc
"Scattered fucking showers my ass."
- Noah
"I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head."
- John F. Kennedy



( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 17th, 2006 10:29 am (UTC)
I just "fucking" enjoyed this! ;)
Aug. 17th, 2006 03:43 pm (UTC)
I figured you could use some 'fucking' cheering up. :) Glad you liked it.
Aug. 17th, 2006 12:37 pm (UTC)
This is fucking marvelous! You are fucking amazing!
Aug. 17th, 2006 03:44 pm (UTC)
It's sad how much time I spend doing the jokes isn't it? LOL But every now and then one of them makes someone's day brighter, so it's worth it. I so fucking love doing them. :)
Aug. 17th, 2006 07:56 pm (UTC)
This was hilarious! My favorite comes from Speed, when Keanu Reeves sees the bomb under the bus for the first time. He says "fuck me hard" and the guy using the cellphone translates this as "Oh, darn" Cracks me up every time
Aug. 17th, 2006 07:58 pm (UTC)
I was howling while I was typing it up last night. :) Or was that this morning? LOL I'm glad it made you smile.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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