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Jim and Blair do jokes 5

Rafe was driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling cop joke after cop joke until Rafe was so mad that he turned his radio off. A mile down the road, he saw another cop out in a corn field in a boat rowing. Rafe stopped his car jumped out and yelled, "Its cops like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"


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Buying drinks at a bar
Jim, Blair and Rafe went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.

Jim: "I'll have a B and C."

Bartender: "What is a B and C?".

Jim: "Bourbon and Coke."

Blair: "And, I'll have a G and T."

Bartender: "What's a G and T?"

Blair: "Gin and tonic."

Rafe: "I'll have a 15."

Bartender: "What's a 15?"

Rafe: "7 and 7"

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A painting contractor was speaking with Blair about his job.

In the first room, Blair said he would like a pale blue.

The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "green side up!"

In the second room, Blair told the painter he would like it painted in a soft yellow.

He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "green side up!"

Blair was somewhat curious, but he said nothing.

In the third room, Blair said he would like it painted a warm rose color.

The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "green side up!"

Blair then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"

"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

@@@@@


A policeman pulled Rafe over after he'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.

Cop: Do you know where you were going?

Rafe: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.

@@@@@

"Blair Sandburg was on an airplane with, President Bush, Mr. Kerry and Mr.
Nader and the airplane started having problems and the pilot said, "We're going to have to jump out, but I only have four parachutes."

President Bush stood up and said, "I'm the president, so I need to go
first." Having said this he grabbed a parachute and jumped out the
door."

Mr. Kerry stood up next and said, "Well, I have to go next, if he
doesn't have anyone running against him, there would be no reason to
have an election and we always need to have an election. America
lives for the chaos and correct moral decisions." He reached over
and grabbed a parachute and jumped out the opening.

Mr. Nader walked to the doorway and said, "Well, I'm next, I've been
called one of the smartest men in the world. The country relies on
my books and stories to spread the knowledge." He strapped on his
parachute and out the door he went.

Blair looked at the pilot and said, "You know what? I've lived a
really great life. I found the love of my life and I got to spend
time with all of these idiots. Who could ask for more? So, you take
the last parachute and go."

Handing a parachute to Blair the pilot said, "We both get to go, the
smartest man in the world just jumped out of the airplane wearing
your knapsack."

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Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
morudai
Jul. 22nd, 2006 03:44 pm (UTC)
You and your jokes! You're making me laugh!
pattrose
Jul. 22nd, 2006 09:45 pm (UTC)
Good... My work is done. *g* Thanks for reading them.
carodee
Jul. 22nd, 2006 06:33 pm (UTC)
Poor Rafe! So he's the official blond of Major Crimes, eh? *g*

I loved the last one particularly.
pattrose
Jul. 22nd, 2006 09:48 pm (UTC)
Yes, Rafe is my official dumb blonde. LOL LMAO I loved that last joke too. I've been having fun with these darn things. Glad you're still reading them. :) Thanks.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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