pattrose (pattrose) wrote,

Ready for more jokes?

Jim and Blair do Jokes 4

Rafe stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin.

"Listen to this," he said to Conner, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover."

"Yeah," Conner nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."


Captain Taggart’s in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts, "Ballroom please."

A lady standing in front of him turns around and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."


One evening, after a discussion in social studies, Daryl asked his dad, "Why isn't a man allowed to have more than one wife?"

Simon answered, "Because the law protects those who are incapable of protecting themselves."


Brown (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Simon: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


Malibu Blair: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

Malibu Jim: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

Malibu Blair: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

Malibu Jim: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"

Malibu Blair: "In the pool."


Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured Princess Megan happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a Prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom, and you can hold down a full time job, prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so."

That night, while Princess Megan dined on frog legs, she laughed to herself and said, "I don't freaking think so!!"


An angry Blair sought out a fortune teller. The fortune teller tells him, "Be prepared for the death of your mate. He will soon die a violent death."

Blair asked," Will I be acquitted?"

Tags: jokes
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