?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Some Sentinelized Jokes



One day, Jim Ellison came home and was greeted by his naked and very excited partner.

"Tie me up," he purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So Jim tied Blair up and went fishing.
@@@

Blair came home, screeching! his car into the driveway, and ran into the house. He slammed the door and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Big guy, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"


Jim said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff, fishing stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," he said. "Just get the hell out."
@@@


Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is Jim.

@@@

Blair was making a breakfast of fried eggs for Jim. Suddenly, Jim burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?

Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt.

USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"

Blair stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

Jim calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Tags:

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
castalie
Jul. 20th, 2006 08:44 pm (UTC)
Here via carodee *waves*

ROTF Oh this is brilliant! Thanks for sharing *g*
pattrose
Jul. 20th, 2006 08:47 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked them. We all need to smile and laugh a little more every day so I'm going to try and put something funny up at least once a week. :)
fluterbev
Jul. 20th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC)
Hee! I'm here via carodee too. Very funny! I love the first one particularly :-)
pattrose
Jul. 20th, 2006 10:14 pm (UTC)
So glad you liked them. I'm getting the next batch ready for tomorrow or the next day. I'm having a ball. :)
carodee
Jul. 20th, 2006 10:43 pm (UTC)
I read the last one out to my mom with funny OMGSoLoud! voices. It was to laugh, me yelling and screeching like Jim. *BG*
mab_browne
Jul. 20th, 2006 11:52 pm (UTC)
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is Jim.


Here via Caro. This one particularly resonated. *g*
luna_61
Jul. 21st, 2006 12:43 am (UTC)
ROFL. OMG, the breakfast one is so funny. I started from the lastest to the earliest jokes. These are all great Patt! Thank you.
pattrose
Jul. 21st, 2006 01:13 am (UTC)
I've needed a laugh now and then and figured someone else might too. :) I'm glad you liked them. There are more coming tomorrow. *g*
ginalin
Jul. 21st, 2006 06:48 am (UTC)
Oh, geez. I shouldn't be laughing this hard at one in the morning, I'm going to wake everyone up.

pattrose
Jul. 21st, 2006 06:49 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you stopped by and had a good laugh. I'm going to try and put some on the LJ every two days. :)
gardendoor
Jul. 21st, 2006 02:31 pm (UTC)
*dies laughing*

Man, those were perfect for Jim and Blair!
pattrose
Jul. 21st, 2006 07:00 pm (UTC)
Yes, they were perfect for them. I'm glad you liked them.
garettgal
Jul. 24th, 2006 10:56 am (UTC)
Followed the link from Carodee also.

Very amusing thanks. I especially like the first one.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

August 2019
S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by chasethestars